AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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