"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
