would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
