I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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