My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
