you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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