all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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