For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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