I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
