4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want to be your penis for a week.
Randomize
