used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
me + whiskey = a bad person
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
