Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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