i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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