Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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