What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
