Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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