I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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