absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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