is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
birth control should be required to get into college
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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