yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
