is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
