In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
