There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
