dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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