well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
