Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
