I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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