question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
