New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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