I just saw a hot homeless man
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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