he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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