I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
