I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize