i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
