Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You may now shotgun with the bride
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
