She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm at about main and main street
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
