Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
