If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
