So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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