Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
