I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So much rum. So many feels.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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