He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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