You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
