I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
