awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
