i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
