I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
