12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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