She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
