Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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