i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
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apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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