i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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