how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
