Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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