i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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