He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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