Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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