This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Randomize
