my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
