omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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