three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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