All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
