My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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