So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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