I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
