pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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