After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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