we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
