i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
